who among us has not wanted to stride down a big hallway in a fancy period gown yelling “fuck fuck fuck”
wishing i was on a balcony in italy, wearing a long floral dress, eating fresh fruit, and staring at the sunset and landscape below me
A while back I heard my friend (male) insult another dude by saying, “You look like the kind of guy who wouldn’t go to Wal-Mart to buy his girlfriend a box of tampons” and I still think about that crowning insult sometimes
My dad once called another guy “someone who thinks loading the dishwasher once in a while makes him less of a man”
I like your dad already
one time my dad’s boss was giving him shit for always leaving work early so he could get home and help my mom with me when i was a newborn and his boss said “i’ve never changed a diaper in my life” really proudly and my dad responded “i’d be ashamed to ever admit i was that worthless of a husband”
oh WOW
This is by far my most popular post.
I HATE ACCIDENTALLY HURTING DOGS THEY SCREAM AND THEN THEY ACT LIKE THEYRE SORRY AND ITS THEIR FAULT AND THEY TRUSTED YOU AND YOU FUCKING STEPPED ON THEM OR PICKED THEM UP WRONG THEY TRUSTED YOU AND YOU HURT THEM
snape could’ve been an awesome teacher if he wasn’t a disgusting waste of a human being. he knew from age 16 that the instuctions that the textbooks were giving weren’t as good as they could be. he improved the potions and recorded his methods at age 16. if he weren’t such a shitbag, he could’ve either written the damn textbooks himself, or taught his students his alternate methods. he could’ve revolutionized how potions were being brewed, teaching whole generations a superior method of potion brewing. instead, he spent his time bullying children.
He could have become rich and famous and been one of the most well regarded wizards of his age with his knowledge of spells and potions
But instead he decided “The girl i hurled racial slurs at put me in the Friend Zone so I’m gonna go become a Magic Nazi and then spend the remainder of my adult years emotionally abusing twelve year olds”
He could have become everything a Slytherin should have been instead of the epitome of what everyone else thinks they are.
spider-man priorities over the years
tobey maguire: MJ!!!
andrew garfield: GWEN!!!
tom holland: plz let me be an avenger
my dumb cat got arrested
he and a couple other neighborhood cats were caught fighting a couple nights ago and someone picked them up and took them to the shelter, it doesn’t open until 11 so i can’t go get him yet
😑 costs 15 dollars to get a pet out of the shelter even though they’ve already inconvenienced me enough by kidnapping my son
snndjfdjcnjdkxm….